On meditation in the month of February.

Following on from my last post on "Forgiveness and breaking free in the month of January", I drew the meditation card for February. I keep drawing this card out so I think the universe is trying to tell me something!

I don't find meditation that easy, even though I tried out the headspace guided meditations a while ago, as I mentioned a previous post "Divine nine or nine ways to stay present". And yet, there are so many benefits to meditation. Here are a few.

Having said that I found three practices in February very meditative. The first was (and is) my reiki practice. I am practicing self-treatment and distant healing as often as I can, as well as giving reiki treatments to my mum on a regular basis. Sometimes I close my eyes while giving reiki and at other times I have my eyes open. The ritual of setting my intention, dedicating the session to the highest good and then using the symbols or reiki positions bring me into a state of deep relaxation and contemplation.

The second was my first ever experience of having a sound bath. A sound bath I hear you cry? What is that? A sound bath is a type of sound healing where the body is bathed in sound from all kinds of instruments or the human voice and resonates at a state of high vibrational energy. 

As a passionate musician I was keen to explore what sound healing is like and so I went along to a talk and demonstration of sound healing by Katie Rose at the College of Psychic Studies in South Kensington, a stone's throw from the Natural History Museum. People of all ages and backgrounds came along to the session. Katie used a variety of instruments and vocal techniques to lead the group through several exercises to loosen us up, banish stress and tension and increase our vibrational energy. The exercises were liberating and a lot of fun! At the end we sat in a circle with our eyes closed while Katie used her voice, drums, gongs and flute to take us on a meditative journey through sound. My whole body vibrated as I was wrapped in a multi-layered blanket of sound. It was a truly amazing experience and something that I would like to explore further. I am thinking of learning sound healing as a way of bringing my musical and healing interests together, so watch this space!

My third practice during the month of February was (and still is) jogging. Yes jogging! I recently signed up for the Race for Life event which will take place on 11th June 2014 in Battersea Park. The Race for Life is a fundraising fun run on behalf of Cancer Research UK. I decided to follow the excellent jogging training plan and soon I was out there in my lycra, with my iPod shuffle, jogging along the waterfront at Battersea Reach. I never would have thought that jogging was meditative but I do find it so. The rhythm of my body moving along with music and watching the light reflect off the Thames helps me focus on the now and I soon find the busyness of my mind settles down and I can enjoy just being. So there we have it, three practices that help me become more meditative. Go on, I dare you to give these a go too!

On forgiveness and breaking freeing in the month of January.

Hello readers!

At the start of this year I decided to do a 12 card draw from my deck of Healing with the Angels cards and I said I would update you on my progress on using each of the 12 cards for contemplation, one for each month of the year.

So here we go. Let's start with January and the card depicting forgiveness. But before I do, I must  first pay homage to one of the greatest folk musicians and troubadour champions of social change, Mr Pete Seeger, who made his transition at the wonderful age of 94 years young on 27th January 2014. His song "Turn, turn, turn", inspired by the book of Ecclesiastes is quite appropriate here I think, especially the line "To everything there is a season..."

A funny incident happened to me in January. A church leader, who I do not know terribly well nor had heard from in years got in touch via Facebook. Apparently, he was at a theological conference and felt prompted to ask me why I no longer go to church. I thought this a bit strange and out of place.  I found myself reflecting on my experience of church over the years, in different places and denominations and tried to give an explanation. He replied and told me, that according to Calvin, my soul would be damned if I didn't go to church. By the way, just in case you were wondering, he meant the French Theologian, John Calvin and not the other Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes.

I found the exchange rather odd and pointed out a tendency to judge and assume that dropping out of mainstream church equated to one losing one's faith, which isn't true in my case. I pondered on his inferences about "being less accountable, that faith doesn't thrive outside church and that it is 'easier' being in church" spoke more about intrusiveness, interference and even the need to control members of a flock.

This led to me reflecting on periods in my life where I have experienced hurt to witnessed indifference in the church world where dogma, indoctrination and denominations abound in contrast to the love, compassion, acceptance and fellowship of humanity I have found outside the church and in many countries I have lived and worked in. When I became a christian aged 22 years old, I chose to find fellowship with christians wherever I lived and worked. I moved around quite a bit in the UK and overseas. Being part of a particular church or denomination was not important to me per se, but being part of the world wide body of Christ was.  Here are some of the experiences I have had, which seem at odds with the love, compassion, truth, justice and healing Jesus taught us:

1) Pentecostal church - I was told I was not a proper christian unless I could speak in tongues. I have never been able to do this and therefore thought there was something wrong with me;

2) Baptist church - I was told that I needed deliverance ministry because I had psychic experiences and therefore had sins not yet forgiven and needed to have my 'psychic eye' closed. Interestingly, to me everyone is psychic to a certain degree, it is a natural way we collect information from our surroundings and not something we can be 'delivered' from or close;

3) Christian organisation - On my first mission overseas, on Christmas Day I was told to stay at base to have Christmas lunch instead of being out on the road giving food and water to refugees who were being forced back across the border by a national army. I, and a few of my team mates, chose to go out on the road instead to do our job;

3) House church - I was told to decline a job offer of bringing humanitarian assistance to refugees returning to Kosovo after the NATO bombing as the organisation did not share the same theological view point as the church on Israel/Palestine. As a humanitarian I felt a strong urge to take the job;

4) Conservative evangelical church - I witnessed leaders preaching to the rich, well off and successful Sunday after Sunday, who commended the Government for going to war on Iraq and Afghanistan and applauded members, who enjoyed goading muslims at Speakers Corner; I attended a home group in which leaders cracked inappropriate jokes about me being single and not having any children;

5) Christian organisation - While, working with churches of various denominations,  I experienced discrimination from some male church leaders who didn't want me talking about social action when I hadn't been to theological college (or maybe it was because I am female?)  and being on a team where I didn't conform to certain aspects of theology;

6) Emerging church - My experiences overseas were seen as 'novel' and earned me the label of 'post-denominationalist'. As labels often disable I prefer to remain label-free;

Trying to fit in, belong and conform to organised christianity in various forms and structures seemed strangely at odds with my calling to humanitarianism. In my heart is a desire to do what I can to contribute to a movement towards tackling poverty, alleviating suffering in times of crisis and injustice by promoting love of all humanity, while walking gently in this world in respect of the whole of creation. Using words and actions to bless rather than judge is important to me as well as living simply.

Having said all of that, I have indeed met and made friends with some wonderful christians along the way who are all seeking to live out their hearts desire for the highest good, despite constraints at leadership level in church! Some of the most memorable encounters I have had have been through participating in the wonderful, inspiring and uplifting Workshop course, led by Noel Moules and his team, being part of an urban gospel choir and having fellowship with international christians in all sorts of locations.

One of the most poignant moments occurred when I was on holiday with Mum and we went on a day trip to Brittany from Jersey. We spent some tie walking around the beautiful town of Dinan and decided to venture in to the Catholic Basilica of St. Saveur's. My Dad has passed away recently and my mum and I decided to light candles for him in his memory.

We were enveloped in a feeling of peace, tranquillity and comfort, soothed by the distant sounds of ancient sacred music. We sat down to pray and both of us felt emotional and tearful. Then a lady sat down next to mum, she put her arm around her. My mum tried to explain how she felt but couldn't speak French and the lady, who could only speak a few words of English, indicated she understood and held her for a while in companionship and solidarity. Words were unnecessary.

Although I dropped out of mainstream several years ago, I still have a thriving faith and pray, I still believe,  but I no longer give myself a label.   I see no need for me to compartmentalise or categorise or box myself or someone else in. My 'church' community is the whole of creation. To me everyone and every living thing on this beautiful planet is my brother and sister regardless of age, gender, ethnic origin, faith or no faith, sexual orientation, political leanings and so on. I feel we are co-creators with the divine, whatever form divinity takes. We are all One. Going to 'church' does not make much sense to me, whereas being love does. I have broken free.

In conclusion, the painful exchange with the church leader through Facebook served as a means for me to reflect on and let go of past hurts from my previous experiences of church with forgiveness. Practicing forgiveness is truly breaking free.

Divine nine or nine ways to stay present

Hello everyone,

I have recently been reflecting on mindfulness and how to stay present. I wish to share with you nine ways I have found useful to help me remain in the NOW. Hang on a mo, why nine? Well nine is a divine number.

In numerology the number nine has global consciousness; it is a 'humanitarian' understanding the connections and 'oneness' between all of mankind and creation. So I thought it quite fitting to choose nine as a vehicle for sharing what I have learned so far on staying present. Shall we get started then? Ok, in no particular order:

1) I choose NOW - sounds simple doesn't it? But I wasn't really aware of how much I lived up in my head, re-living the immediate or distant past or stressing about what's next until I read a couple of interesting books that enabled me to observe my own thoughts. I'm sure you will have already heard of "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. 

I bought this a few years ago and it took me three or four attempts to read it. I didn't find it an easy read but I persevered and realised that shows the reader a practical way of breaking old habits of the mind and re-centring oneself in the present moment. Later on I stumbled upon an absolute gem of a book called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. I may have mentioned this one before. It is beautifully written and heralds from the realms of Toltec wisdom. In it Don Miguel Ruiz talks about the dream state we are all in  and about how we can wake up from the dream. There are four main lessons in the book, which are actually four agreements you can make with yourself. You can learn more about it in this video. 

Both books enabled me to set my intention towards choosing the present moment. 

2) I learn meditation - meditation, a practice found in many countries, cultures and belief systems, enables me to slow down, focus on just being in my body and become more aware of my internal as well as external landscape. I found it hard at first, especially when my mind jumped about a lot like a macaque skipping over hot coals.

Anyway a friend of mine, while we were chilling out at an African music festival in north London, told me about a useful website called Headspace. This is a handy resource where you can find out more about meditation and follow some simple guided meditations, taking no more than 10 minutes. After I discovered this I incorporated this into my lunch breaks at a quiet spot in St. James' Park. It is still a work in progress for me as I do get distracted by my daily routine and don't always make time to meditate! Perhaps I can learn the way of the lion...

3) I practice reiki - I have been practicing reiki for the last three years or so. The act of conducting a reiki healing on myself, friends or family members or sending reiki over distance grounds me in the  present moment. Human touch is a powerful, immediate and healing thing as is setting one's own intention. 

4) I make music - music has always been a passion of mine since learning to play the recorder and piano while I was a primary school. I subsequently learned the flute at middle school and sang in a school choir, competed in music festivals, performed in school and university orchestras, a singing group and jazz duo, taught music to other pupils and taught myself the guitar. I began writing and performing my own songs in my early twenties, going on to sing in folk clubs solo, as a duo and in a folk band. 

Although my music, and various instruments accompanied me throughout my humanitarian aid career, I tended to push it to the background and over the years I felt I had lost touch with a part of myself. In the last 10 years or so I tried to ease myself back into singing first in a church choir and later an urban gospel choir but my constant travelling meant I couldn't commit to regular rehearsals. However I really missed co-creating beautiful melodies and harmonies. 

Now I'm rediscovering this creative side of myself again and what a joy it is! A friend of mine, Luc, invited me along to participate in a couple of regular open mic style events at the Larrik Inn, Fulham and at the Anchor Pub in Battersea, so I stepped up and had a go! I've picked up my guitar again, added another instrument (the uke) to my collection and I am re-vamping my repertoire. Whenever I sing or play a note I can only be in the present moment time falls away and I am conscious of the vibrations inside my body and the affect music has on other people. My heart resonates. 

5) I care for someone I love - my mum and my aunt have both been coping with health concerns. When someone you love is ill or is struggling with something, this really focusses the mind, body and soul on loving relationships. Spending time listening to them and providing practical physical and emotional support opens the pathway to just 'being there' and enjoying every precious moment. 

6) I garden - growing up in the Warwickshire countryside gave me a healthy curiosity for and appreciation of nature and all wildlife. I have always loved plants and animals. I love nurturing plants and growing my own flowers, fruit, herbs and vegetables. Feeling the soil between my fingers, fragile leaves of seedlings, root balls vibrating with life as I plant them out into the ground, literally brings me down to earth! Being with nature and feeling the warmth of the sun on my face, my bare feet on the grass and hearing birdsong reminds me to look around me and really open my eyes to the beauty of creation that is constantly evolving without a care in the world. 

7) I pray - communing with the Divine for me is having a conversation and I don't have to be in a church or holy place to do that. I can pray anytime and anywhere, offering words and intentions to the Divine presence from my heart. This keeps me connected, present and forever grateful. 

8) I meet up with my friends - as a natural, born introvert and only child, I have not always found it easy to socialise, often preferring to be on my own. I am happy in my own company and yet I have chosen to go out, conquer my shyness and make friends. I value my friends - who are my extended family. I have been very privileged to have lived and worked in many countries of our one world and made friends wherever I go. Being in the company of my friends is very grounding. Sharing laughter, cooking good food, celebrating the joys and commiserating over the sorrows or enjoying going out to the theatre, cinema, music festival or seaside trip brings me away from my busy headspace and into my heartspace and firmly roots me in the here and now. 

9) I take a walk - this might sound a bit counter-intuitive but I find it easier to be in the present when I'm walking around instead of just sitting down. When I'm walking I am conscious of my feet touching the ground, how my body feels in motion, the breeze on my face, and my awareness increases so that I notice the sights and sounds around me. I don't think we were born to be sedentary beings! Walking is a natural a way of being...and maybe dance-walking is the next evolutionary step? Enjoy it people! 

12 card draw

Hello friends.

On 1st January 2014, I did something new. Instead of writing down some New Year's revolutions (yes I meant to write revolutions instead of resolutions), I drew 12 cards from my pack of 44 Healing with the Angels cards by Doreen Virtue, one for each month of 2014.  I like using these cards. Not only are they beautiful works of art and uplifting to look at, they each present a word of encouragement. They help me tap into my intuition and give me pictures and words on which to contemplate. Here is the spread.

January - Forgiveness

February - Meditation

March - Blessings

April - New Beginnings

May - Enchantment

June - Nature

July - Surrender and Release

August - Manifestation

September - Focus

October - Divine Guidance

November - Body Care

December - Serenity

I shall enjoy pondering on these in the coming months and I will post up anything of note that my intuition and contemplation reveals. 

My New Year wishes for you and your loved ones!

Happy New Year and Reflections on 2013!

New Year Greetings!

Happy, bright and beautiful New Year to you and your loved ones! I hope this finds you well and enjoying the first few days of 2014 so far. Reflecting on 2013, I am grateful for the opportunities I have had to work, rest and play and spend quality time with family and friends.

Rest and relaxation

Last year I saw in the New Year with John, who had come all the way from Down Under to spend Christmas and New Year with me and my family. We had met a few months previously in Port Moresby, while we were both working in Papua New Guinea and hit it off. After a restful few days over Christmas in Long Itchington and exploring the sites of Warwickshire, we returned to the bustling metropolis to enjoy the Christmas lights, shows and spectacular fireworks that heralded in 2013. All too soon it was time for him to return to Sydney.

I enjoyed an extended period of rest in January and February following my hectic, productive and very interesting mission on behalf of the Protection Standby Capacity Project (ProCap), seconded to UNHCR in Papua New Guinea in 2012. I needed to recharge my batteries, sort out a shoulder injury and contemplate my next steps as I realised that it is becoming increasingly important for me to be at home in the UK for periods of time and regain a decent work/life balance. During those months of rest I took up pilates, enjoyed some deep tissue massages at Lavender Heal and had some physio for my shoulder, all of which worked a treat and I felt as good as new! In addition I joined a 100-day co-creating our reality challenge, which was a fun way to set some intentions for a 100 day period, work towards them and video blog (vlogging) about the experience along the way. I have never vlogged before but I had a go and learned how to make movies on my MacBook with iMovie.

Itchy feet and road trips

In March I took up a UK based job as a Programme Specialist on Child Protection and Education for UNICEF UK, a national committee affiliated to UNICEF. This entity is primarily geared up for fundraising for and communicating about UNICEF’s work internationally and on the domestic front. While in the International Programme Advisory team, I provided technical programme input into pitches to corporate partners – a whole new universe for me! Remaining chained to a desk and a computer somewhere in the City of London was a challenge. Unable to sit still for too long, I visited my friend Nejla in Sweden for a long weekend in May and we toured around the ‘Köpings’ – Nyköping, Norrköping, Linköping, Soderköping and Gamla Linköping. It was good to catch up and explore a lovely part of Sweden in the springtime.

As you know I do so love to travel and fortunately I didn’t have to wait long until my next adventure. In July I ventured Down Under to visit John and meet his folks. We packed a lot into two weeks. We started off with a few days exploring the Hawkesbury River and Blue Mountains, followed by urban walks in Sydney discovering the best the city has to offer including the harbour, opera house, Botanic Gardens and historic centre as well as venturing into the surrounding beaches and headlands including Palm Beach, Barrenjoey Head, Bondi by night, the Gap, Bobbin Head and Appletree Bay. We then embarked on an epic road trip up the coast into Queensland and on to Fraser Island to wend our way along the beaches and into the rainforest. What a trip! All being well we plan to meet up again soon.

On her Majesty's service

After a few months at UNICEF UK I realised the role wasn’t for me as it wasn’t challenging, strategic or fulfilling enough, particularly compared to recent roles with NGOs and UN agencies. I made the decision to move on and in September I took up a Humanitarian Adviser role at Crown Agents. Crown Agents provides a range of services to Her Majesty’s Government including the Department for International Development. I’m based in CHASE OT (Conflict, Humanitarian and Security Operations Team) which sits within DFID, at Whitehall. Since I began my new job in September I’ve been on a range of induction training courses such as Working with Ministers (a bit like “Yes Minister”) and Hostile Environments Awareness Training. As the name suggests, this training covered dealing with threats such as ambushes, mines and unexploded ordinances, armed groups and potential hostage situations, and learning first aid including responding to traumatic field injuries. Some of the training was familiar and a refresher and other parts were new to me so well worthwhile.

Following that I was seconded to the Syria Crisis Unit for a few weeks, where I was doing a piece of work relating to the needs of children affected by the ongoing conflict, both inside Syria and in neighbouring countries to inform DFID’s programme design for the Secretary of State’s Lost Generation Initiative. Subsequently, as it was typhoon season, I assisted colleagues with ongoing monitoring of natural hazards and since November I have been providing technical support to the Typhoon Haiyan response in the Philippines.

As we begin 2014 the conflict in Syria shows no sign of abating leaving 6.8 million people in need, 4.2 million people displaced from their homes and 2.3 million people who have fled Syria into neighbouring countries. I hope and pray for an end to the conflict soon. In the Philippines the typhoon has affected 14.1 million people and displaced over 4 million people from their homes. The international response has been good so far and donors and agencies are working with the Government and local communities to support the recovery process.

Creativity

Aside from work and travel, I have been deepening my reiki practice for the wellbeing of friends, family and myself and participating in reiki shares, where I have enjoyed meeting reiki-lovers in my local area and sharing experiences and practice. Also, I experimented with drawing mandalas, which I find to be meditative and colourful.

Creative writing continues to be a joy when I sit down and make time to put pen to paper or finger to keyboard. I endeavour to post musings up on two blogs. Blonde Bombshell in Crises takes a tongue-in-cheek view of humanitarians and the humanitarian world and this blog, Shalomsplinters which reflects on creativity, spirituality and wellbeing. I may not be the most prolific of writers but I do enjoy the creative process and receiving feedback from friends and occasionally random strangers. In December my line manager, Ian, gave me an interesting mission, to write a script for the CHASE OT’s Christmas pantomime for the end of year review and party. Each team within DFID CHASE were required to put on a mini-panto and Ian was keen for CHASE OT not to be outdone. Mission Impossible? Horrified by the task I turned to partners in crime in the team, Barbara and Andy who agreed to co-write the material with me and also galvanise willing actors. I am happy to report that we won first prize! This marked my first foray into comedy script writing and I could develop a taste for doing more of it in future. Watch this space!  Feeling the creative pull back to music, I bought a ukulele and I have been teaching myself the basics. In addition, I returned to the live music circuit having been persuaded by my friend Luc Floreani, to perform at local open mic nights in Larrik Inn in Fulham and The Anchor pub in Battersea. I plan to do more of this throughout 2014 and I might perform with my uke and jam with friends. Perhaps I might even do song writing again!

Family

At the moment I’m grateful for being the UK and not roaming too far afield as both my Aunt and Mum have been going through health problems. My Auntie Josie has been recovering from a stroke during the past 12 months and is now doing very well. Mum is undergoing all sorts of tests and has been in hospital a couple of times. I go to visit them as often as I can and I accompany Mum to her numerous hospital appointments. I spent a quiet Christmas and New Year in Long Itchington. Mum and Auntie Josie and I had a lovely Christmas Day together. Unfortunately, a few days later mum had to go into hospital on New Year’s Eve for a biopsy. I am thankful that I could be there to support her through it and will be going up to Long Itchington on a regular basis. I hope and pray for healing for both in the coming months. It is, especially, at times like these when I truly appreciate my loving family and the kind support of friends and neighbours.

On that note, I wish you and your loved ones peace, love and light throughout the year and always.

Much love,


Sarah xxx