Happiness is.....

....a choice.  When you wake up in the morning you have a choice. You can start the day believing it to be a day of opportunities, filled with hope, love, laughter, adventure and interesting encounters or you can get out of the bed the wrong side, dreading the day ahead, thinking that it will be full of unwanted challenges, irksome people, stress, mistakes and anguish. Why even choose the latter? Why do we do this to ourselves? We can be our own worst enemies by succumbing to negative patterns of thinking and behaviour. Yet the alternative is there to be grasped. We don't have to wait to be happy. Happiness can be found, here, now in the present moment if we choose it to be so.

Breathy bendy stretchy flexy

I am very much a newcomer to yoga. I started beginners classes (open hatha yoga) at a little church hall in Wandsworth town, just round the corner from where I live, last year. Owing to travelling abroad on assignments I couldn't attend complete terms but picked it up again a few months ago. I found it challenging at first but immediately beneficial, calming my mind and gently stretching and energising my body as well as improving my balance.

I'm determined to continue this practice, and in case I can't find yoga classes on my current mission in Namibia, see fellow blog page Tall Tales from Windy Corner for updates, I have brought a yoga DVD with me. I used it for a mini-relaxing workout while I was in Johannesburg and it enabled me to wind down and get ready for sleep.

Creation is alive and kicking - it's evolving

Hello! Have any of you watched the 4thoughtTV series on "Is it possible to believe in God and Darwin?" last week? It was like a breath of fresh air to me, especially this short film with Dr Ruth Bancewicz, a geneticist, click here to watch. As a biologist by training I've been passionate about Charles Darwin's theory of evolution for years.

Studying plants and animals both in the wild and through the microscope enabled me to revel in the wonderment of a complex, yet perfectly intricately woven creation in which new species were being discovered all the time. However in the many churches I happened to venture into during my spiritual journey I have only ever been told that evolution does not exist, only creationism as described in the book of Genesis.

I feel for Darwin's dilemma, when as a devout Christian and natural scientist, the brought his theory of evolution into the public domain through this groundbreaking book "The Origin of Species" knowing full well the backlash he would face from the church. 

This dichotomy, between science and faith did not sit right with my intellect or intuition. It seemed as though evolution and creation in the worlds of science and Christianity were mutually exclusive. But are they really? I began to ponder on this. I remember having a lively debate about this topic one evening, in french, with my Congolese french teacher in Goma, Democratic Republic of Congo in 2009, who was also a follower of Jesus which brought my thoughts to life.  

In my mind the six days of creation described in Genesis represent periods of time, not necessarily strict diurnal days. So just as  'the day of the lord' can represent over 1000 years, a day in the creation process could mean thousands and thousands of years.  It is interesting  to note that the order in which God created living creatures has been backed up by paleontology, geology and archeology, it's just that in Genesis it is written in a much simpler form for people to understand! I struggle to grasp the notion that God created the universe, our planet and everything in it and then stepped back. The creation was finished. That's that and God took a well earned coffee break. When God told Adam and after the flood, Noah to "be fruitful and multiply" it is clear to me that creation was still ongoing. To me our planet is something which is dynamic, living, breathing, ever changing but tightly interconnected, I suppose I think of it more in terms of James Lovelock's Gaia hypothesis.

I conclude that evolution is God's creative process unfolding throughout time and history and therefore is still going forwards: in fact creation is alive and kicking - it is consciously evolving. 

Being outside the box: mutant and proud

Hello! I went to see the latest X Men film called X Men First Class a few days ago. I'm not normally into Sci Fi movies but I really enjoyed this one and thought that, as well as being full of action and a good story, it was a very clever portrayal of the struggles encountered when coming to terms with being perceived as different - the 'other' i.e. not conforming to the 'norms' of the day, and how this situation can be one of opportunity and hope or threat and fear. The phrase which has stayed with me is the X Men's slogan "Mutant and proud!"

Two TV dramas which I think also explore this theme about being 'an other' well are Lost and True Blood, and I must confess I enjoy both!

Along my own spiritual journey I have been fascinated by the compulsion of people I meet to try to categorise me. In encountering church communities as a newcomer or visitor, the first question I was often asked was "Are you believer?" followed quickly by "Oh, you are, good, which church do you go to?" It is as if the most important thing is to find out whether I am 'in or out'. If you were 'in' then there was a big sigh of relief but if you were 'out' then wariness ensued followed by a lightbulb moment as the interrogator realised that this presented an opportunity and you are ripe for change and a conversion to conformity in order to belong.

I wonder whether this compulsion is a hangover from the Age of Enlightenment when scientists of the day rationalised, identified, classified and compartmentalized everything in to the great filing cabinet of life or perhaps it speaks of a much deeper and more ancient human instinct.

Since my early 20s I've tried to follow "The Way" of Jesus and his disciples and their teachings but in doing so I haven't really alligned myself to any particular denomination so I couldn't honestly answer that second question of 'which church do you go to?". Doing the humanitarian work I do means I have the privilege of travelling all over the world and meeting many people from all sorts of cultural and faith traditions. So wherever I have ended up I've hooked up with fellow followers of "The Way" or a similar way and questions about which church quickly became irrelevant. I've always thought of church as a global and diverse body of followers on the move not as separate entities framed by denominational doctrine and confined within stone walls. It's funny but I attended a learning circle with other followers a few years ago in 2002 I was trying to explain this and someone in the circle piped up and said 'oh so you are a post-denominationalist?' And I think I responded by saying something like "I haven't thought of myself in this way, I am just me and I thought this was normal."


Last week I went to a reiki share circle and the meeting opened with a Cree traditional song which pays homage to the uniqueness of every individual. I found the song uplifting, inspiring and because it had been passed down through the ages by the oral tradition there was something beautifully timeless about it that spoke of the connectedness of all human beings whilst celebrating uniqueness. Uniqueness infers being outside of the box and not confined by the cardboard constraints of society's perceptions of conformity.

Reflecting on this I am happy to continue my life being outside the box and therefore can rejoice in the notion of being "Mutant and proud!"

Sittin on the dock of the bay.....musical oneness

Hello!

Here's another fine example of musical oneness from around the world brought to us by the amazing Playing For Change family. Let your heart sing as you watch this video.

Peace and blessings

Sarahxx

Only love

....And while reflecting on being grateful, I can honestly say I am truly grateful (to bursting point) for all the amazing musicians in this world who are blessed with the natural talent for breaking down barriers and spreading messages of hope and love through a universal language.

Check this out! I love this song called "Only Love" by Simon Webbe.

Enjoy!

Shalom,

Sarahxx

Gratefulness

Hello. I have been reflecting on the concept of gratefulness for a while now. I think many expressions of faith and spirituality seem to have gratefulness as a core value which allows us time to give thanks and be grateful for the positive things and experiences in our lives from day to day.

Ignatius Loyola

One practice I came across a few years ago, whilst working with a diverse range of churches (and therefore theologies) in inner city London, was the Daily Examen which Ignatius Loyola promoted in his spiritual exercises.  This is a simple practice which can be carried out once or twice a day and involves contemplating on two questions. For example, "what am I most grateful for today?" and "what am I least grateful for today?" or they can be framed in slightly different ways such as "what has given me life today?" and "what has drained life today?". By doing this and noticing and accepting emotions that crop up without trying to change how we feel, enables us to identify our blessings,  i.e. what we are truly grateful for and draw towards more of the 'life-giving' elements in our lives. In turn this helps us to discern whether we are on the 'right path' and can make changes accordingly.  It is like a divine inner compass.

Last year, after having received reiki treatment which helped me recover from the effects of an illness, I decided to attend an introductory reiki course. Reiki is a natural form of energy healing which was re-discovered in Japan in the early 20th century.

Reiki practitioners are taught 5 simple principles which guide daily living, one of which is "show gratitude to every living". I love this principle because it teaches me about the connectedness of all living things on our planet, that every creature has its place and purpose, and through our connectedness we are blessed.

So let us find a moment to be grateful for the wonders, blessings and miracles that are there in our daily lives.

Let's give some love away.....

I've been a big fan of the Playing for Change movement for a few years now, ever since my cousin in Canada posted a link to their video "Song around the world" on my facebook wall -  I've been hooked!

Watch it here

Playing for Change brings together musicians of all ages together from around the world in celebration and with a purpose of spreading love and hope and raising funds to build music and art schools in developing countries.

Here is another awesome offering from the Playing for Change family. Please watch, enjoy then share.

Let's give some love away people!!

Click here  to play Gimme Shelter

Shalom

Sarahxx

The Wisdom of the Ancients 1 - The Toltecs

I came across a beautiful little book a couple of years ago now called "The Four Agreements" written by Don Miguel Ruiz who is descended from the Toltecs of Mexico. In his book he has captured the wisdom of his people which has been passed down through the ages in an evocative story which encompasses a timeless prayer of love and guidance in the form of four key agreements he invites us to make with ourselves.

One of my facebook friends recently sent me the link to this video on youtube which sums up the essence of his message to the world. I hope you will enjoy watching it!

Shalom

Sarahx

Return to blogdom

Hello readers!

Well after a long break from blogging I've decided to return to the blogosphere and resume jotting down my thoughts on faith and spirituality (and related esoteric subjects) on these pages. So I guess this space will be devoted to reasonably serious reflections! However I have also created a lighter blogspot called blondebombshellincrises.blogspot (or b.b.c. for short ha) for my tongue in cheek and slightly irreverent observations on the eccentricities of the humanitarian world around which I orbit on a regular basis. Feel free to join in with me along both of these journeys. You are welcome.

Love and shalom

Sarahx

Chiang Mai calling...

Hello again. I'm on a roll. No I'm not sitting on my lunch I mean I'm getting back into the swing of writing on my blog again.

I'm off tomorrow to Thailand (again) and this time to Chiang Mai in the north. I'll be there for a week to attend a 2 day expert meeting on Older People's Associations in Emergencies and to also spend a few days with people in the Asia Pacific Regional Development Centre. If I'm lucky I will have Sunday off so I hope I can get out and about and explore. There's a mountain to climb and elephants to see...

Urban Voices Showcase - Don't miss it!

Some of you will know that I sing in an urban gospel choir which a few friends
and I set up last year. We are called Urban Voices and you can check us out
on our webpage at http://www.myspace.com/urbanvoicesofficial . Last year
we participated in a few gigs, a charity single and pop video. We have more
gigs lined up in the next few months including our very own showcase event called "Lean on me .....I believe", on Wednesday 4th April at 7.30pm at Christchurch, Commercial Street, Spitalfields (nearest tubes are Liverpool Street and Aldgate East) - and the ticket price is £5. We'll be doing a range of songs from traditional gospel, contemporary American style gospel and funky R&B/pop. There'll be guest singers and a dance troup. As well as family and friends, we're inviting people from the music industry e.g. agents and vocal coaches and reps from the London Community Gospel Choir so it will be a real mix.

Please do come and support us if you can. It will be great to see some familiar
friendly faces there. Lets fill the church and raise the roof!

Back from a break

It will be a year tomorrow since my Dad passed away and I started this blog. I can't find the words to describe how I feel about it right now.

I haven't blogged here since last April...deary me! Its been a year of much change from losing Dad and trying to adjust to life without him, searching for and getting a new job back in the humanitarian aid sector, making and strengthening friendships in the community where I live and to our wonderful choir, Urban Voices which is really taking off.

I have much to be thankful for and to wonder at, not least my loving family and friends. Thank you to all who have been there for me.

From Barking to Brussels, Batticaloa and Bangkok

Hello. A belated Happy New Year to you. "Time goes by so slowly....Time goes by so slowly...." sang Madonna in her disco diva outfit. I wonder if she is in a parallel universe? My experience of time has been somewhat different - it has simply flown by (and I have flown through several time zones) since I was last at the Shaftesbury Society in December. I think my last meeting with a church partner was with Christchurch in Barking. I can't believe its nearly two months since I left Shaftesbury. In a few short weeks I've settled into the World Wide Emergencies Unit at HelpAgeInternational and getting to grips with my new role as an Emergencies Programme Coordinator for Disaster Risk Reduction. Now this doesn't mean that I create or coordinate emergencies (although I'm sure that could quite easily happen!). I'm responsible for developing and rolling out a strategy to integrate a disaster risk reduction approach to emergency and development programmes among our 70 partner and affiliate organisations around the world. What does that mean? Well, as far as I can gather disaster risk reduction seems to embrace disaster preparedness, mitigation, emergency response, recovery, safety nets (including social protection and livelihoods) and adapting to climate change...all underpinned by sound development practice. Jolly good! Plenty to be getting on with then....no rest for the wicked eh? In a nut shell it's working with our partners and local communities, especially older people, to identify vulnerabilities to natural and man-made disasters and their solutionsso that they can recover from crises and better withstand future shocks. It's common sense really. Everyone seeks to mitigate risks in their everyday lives.

I've had a warm welcome so far from my new team mates. Some of us have acommon connection - we've worked in Sudan at one time or another and we are refugees from Save the Children. On day two of my new job I was sent off to Brussels with my colleague Susi to attend the annual ECHO partner conference. ECHO is the European Community Humanitarian Office and its now one of the largest donors of humanitarian aid. A couple of hundred aid agencies were represented and I bumped into a few old colleagues over coffee which was nice. The main sessions were in English and French so I made use of my headphones and interpreters. It's just like the EU parliament does on the TV - lots of flags, people in suits sitting in semi-circular rows of seats and Eurospeak. Mind you the coffee was good. I went to a workshop on DRR which was really helpful and networking brought some new contacts to hook up with later. In the evening there was a champagne reception in the Charlemagne building...all very posh. When I got back it was straight into two weeks of induction, meeting loads of people and reading volumes of papers, reports, guidelines etc. I was in mega sponge mode and I'm wondering at what point I will be wrung out so the information will drip, drip, drip through.

After Christmas my boss, Bill said "well Sarah, I think it will be a good idea for you to skate around the various regions and see what HelpAge is doing around the world". Wow - what an opportunity. Time to dust down my rucksack and put my leaving gifts to good use. Last week I returned from my first trip to Sri Lanka and Thailand. I flew to Colombo and stayed in an amazingly beautiful hotel called Mount Lavinia which commanded spectacular views over Colombo and the palm fringed coastline. On the Sunday I joined my colleague Jonathan and his wife Harriet for lunch out on the terrace in hot sunshine...aahhh. Then I spent the afternoon on the beach. The next day we we headed off early by car on a bone shaking road trip through hill country, near Horton plains (tea and coffee growing area), narrowly missing landslips at Ratnapura, snaking round horrifying hairpin bends and on eastwards to Ampara. On the way we saw monkeys, mongeese, eagles and egrets. Ten hours later we arrived just as the sun went down and stayed at a little guesthouse and bumped into the Sally Army. Next day we headed up to Kalmunai and Batticaloa on the east coast through several checkpoints, some army, airforce, policeand military police (although it was hard to tell which was which). This area is incredibly poor and the conflict is ongoing. Fighting was going onto the north of us and many of the local older people we spoke to in thesenior citizens committees were sick and tired of being caught between the lines (LTTE and Gov forces) and had had enough of the shelling. I met our local staff and project partners and saw firsthand the devastating effects of the Tsunami. People are still living in transit camps two years on. I saw 3 villages which had been completely obliterated. All you could see remaining were the foundations of houses and the concrete cylinders of wells. We sat and drank coconut juice (straight out of the coconut) with the Senior Citizen's committee there and I heard their stories. Some of them had received help in the form of latrines, wells, livelihood grants and assistance with obtaining their ID cards which enabled them to access a range of entitlements including better access to health services. Life is tough there but I will never forget their spirit and smiles. Spirituality is highly valued and one of their favourite aspects of the HelpAge programme is facilitating trips to pilgrimage sites. Later one we met up with one lady at her home who had received a loan. She must have been in her sixties or even early seventies. She created a homegarden and makes the best use of her 1 acre and 2 growing seasons and sells surplus produce. She is very enterprising because she doesn't stop there. She weaves rushes into matting and rattan into baskets and sells those. At 4.00am every day she goes out in her boat and casts her net into the lagoon and sells her catch. She has to. She supports 5 children, some of who are studying and several grandchildren. The next day we visited a housing cluster in Kattankudy where we are rehousing 25 older people and their families who had lost everything. After a quick tour we jumped back in the car for another epic road trip to the south coast through rice paddies and elephant country to Tangalle and arrived 7 hours later. Next day and on to Matara, meeting more local staff, project partners and senior citizens committees, while imbibing herbal soup, sweet tea and eating cake. I learnt loads. All too soon we waved goodbye to yet more smiles and headed north, to Colombo arriving several hours later. Jonathan, Harriet,their friends and I went out for dinner in Colombo and the next day I worked in the HelpAge Sri Lanka office and talked with the Chief Exec about the plans for the future and the governments road map on DRR. 4.00am the following morning I left for the airport and a flight to Bangkok. The new airport in Bangkok is incredible. It was completed 6 months ago and is very futuristic, lots of steel and glass...and duty free shopping. I hopped (or rather staggered sleepily) onto the airport bus into the city. Only 2 hours later I arrived at my hotel on Silom Road in the business district (round the corner fromthe Red Light District ...I didn't take a look). The hustle and bustle and pollution was a shock to the system so I decided to chill out at the hotel and watched the sun go down from the roof garden on the 20th floor. The following day, a Sunday, I ventured out from the land of airconditioning on to the street and was hit by a wall of humid heat. I love the tropics! I avoided the myriad of taxi's and tuk tuks as I like to explore on foot. I bumped into a chinese man who had just clocked off duty from work and was on his way home to his wife and new born son. I congratulated him and he gave me some top tourist tips and walked me to the pier. There I booked myself onto a boat trip (got the local rate) and had a slow boat all to myself for a blissful one and a half hour trip up river and down the canals which meandered through rows of wooden houses on stilts and brightly coloured temples, glittering in the sunlight. Children jumped into the water and waved and smiled as we sailed by. Later in the evening I met up with two colleagues from the Asia Pacific Development Centre, Bert and Paul for a briefing. Monday was filled with a quick trip on the Sky train for shopping at MBK and then more meetings.Tuesday, worked and then flew home. Not without experiencing a foot massage before getting on the plane...really relaxing. I slept most of the flight and arrived to snow....brrr. Back in the office the next day and straight into working on a funding bid with team mates for a large grant for a 3 year project to 'strengthen the evidence base for humanitarian action'.

Choir 2

Our gospel choir planning meeting went well last week. Seems that interest is gaining momentum - around 18 people already keen to join and we're auditioning for more members next Thursday. We have a potential choir director and we're hunting around for reasonably priced rehearsing space...watch this space for what happens next!

Havana Happy Hour

I've been living in my flat in Battersea for the last 8 months and I love it! Its in a mixed housing development near the river and I was able to buy a share of my flat through a shared ownership scheme with a Housing Association. I'm keen to get to know my neighbours and make new friends. Although I've introduced myself to a few people I have realised that its all too easy just to get up, leave the flat to go to work, come home and not speak to anyone and days can go by without bumping into anyone at all. So, Hazel, one of my neighbours, and I have decided to have a little get together so that we can 'get to know our neighbours'. We've called it 'Havana Happy Hour' as we both liked the culture, cocktails and music of Cuba. We're holding it next Wednesday in my flat and we'll serve Mojitos, Cuba Libres, Havana Beans and Cuban Green Rice. We had great fun drawing and delivering the invitations. We've invited everyone in our block and a few people from another 3 blocks. The day after invites went out 16 people said they will come along!....I'm wondering how many I can fit in my lounge...or what the weight load limit is on my balcony!

Choir

A few friends and I are setting up a gospel choir. We met at the British Gospel Arts choir workshops last year. We enjoyed singing together so much that we didn't want the course to end and kept saying "why don't we set up our own choir?" but didn't know how to go about it. British Gospel Arts is the education branch of the London Community Gospel Choir which runs beginners, intermediate and advanced gospel singing classes every term. They are great fun to do as well as vocally stretching and spiritually uplifting. I was amazed at how gospel music brings together people of different faiths, especially when the songs we sing are explicitly worshipping Jesus. Its the love of the music, the energy, the incredible harmony and bond of friendship which unites us. I'm looking forward to meeting with my friends on Wednesday to talk more about the next stage of set up.

Songwriting and Shalom

I enjoy writing songs in my spare (?) time although I'm prolifically slow! I've written several since 1992 but there was a gap of a few years before I took it up again last year. I must admit I'm about of a technophobe so I'm not yet at the stage of being able to record them and upload them as mp3 files...maybe that's lucky for you because you only get to read the lyrics!

I wrote "splinters" in July 2005 after completing an inspiring course in Applied Christian Studies called Workshop which is run by the Anvil Trust. It connected me with the overarching story of God throughout history and I learnt many things about Jesus which were profound. His agenda, of bringing 'shalom' into the present continues to inspire me. Shalom is 'wholeness' or 'completeness', a sense of everything being as it should be: about people having their material, emotional and physical needs met, justice on an individual and national level and about right relationships between people and between people and God. There's a great definition on the Peacechurch website.

As a follower of the way, I'm constantly challenged by how I can bring 'shalom' into the present in all spheres of my life and with the people I come into contact with. Its a tall order but Jesus expects nothing less.

Four letter word

Is it me or are followers of the way in our culture a little to pre-occupied with 'safe'? I come across people saying or writing things like " we need to create a safe space for this" and a "safe place for that", people need to "feel safe" etc. Surely the message of shalom is far from 'safe'. Jesus was not 'safe'. The cross wasn't 'safe'. Surely we are required to risk everything to love completely and unconditionally, journeying out into dangerous places, engaging with people who don't make us 'feel safe' at all?

Dying to fear

Apart from a feelings of loss and emptiness, my Dad's death has left me with a fear of dying. I was there with him when he died and an icy chill gripped my heart at that moment: "where has my Dad gone?" I said to myself, "if, in fact, he has 'gone' anywhere at all?" Is this a normal reaction for one who is grieving? Why do I fear this now, when surely I should accept dying as a part of life and not necessarily apart from life?

At one time I remember being totally fearless of death. I happened to be working as a humanitarian aid worker in South Sudan, a region ravaged by conflict and extreme poverty. I led a mobile relief team in northern Bahr el Ghazal, where the war was described as a 'low intensity conflict' (obviously coined by people in the West who had not experienced the conflict first-hand). There was nothing 'low' about the intensity of bombings and raids by militia such as the Popular Defence Force. Being mindful and ever alert to security issues was a way of life out there. I even slept in my one man tent with my clothes and boots on, ready to run at the drop of a hat. I remember writing home to my friends saying that I was happy and ready to die, I had no fear of death, I could embrace it if the worst came to the worst because I was in the right place at the right time, carrying out my calling. Some of my friends wrote back in horror saying "you can't possibly think that can you?", "you have everything to live for so don't tempt fate".

As I contemplate returning to the humanitarian aid sector of a break of nearly four years I will have to grapple with my newly found fear. In order to 'lay down my life for my friends', and therefore be a friend of Christ, I must be prepared to go to those places and be in situations where dying could be an everyday possibility, therefore my fear has to die instead of the kingdom life within me dying to fear.